Tag Archive for: bodymind

Love Hurts… but always serves

Love can turn bad or grow strong. They both hurt.

Heart wrenching moments happen when you question someone’s alignment with you or yours with them. But the first question, that we sometimes neglect when in love is, am I aligned with myself?

The hurt of love is a deep sword. It asks you to soul-search, with an unspoken promise of self-aligned positive change.

This kind of change asks you to dig beneath the intellect to raw emotions.

Recently, in an emotional conflict with someone I love, I realized that when experiencing my heart’s ache I was judging both of us. I wanted both of our stances to change, so the conflict would disappear.

I felt like an ostrich with my head in the sand, unable to see my way out.

Then a friend pointed to the judgment, “that’s right-wrong thinking.” As she put it, “can you both be right?”

I recognized that making us wrong was, very effectively, distracting me from feeling unchecked, unwanted emotions. And I know, you can’t think your way out of heartache, you feel your way out.

What feeling was I avoiding?

I revisited the emotions of the conflict and surrendered into the heart of it. I tracked where it lived in my body, stayed with it, and listen. (The Peace Process)

What I heard through my fear of losing alliance with someone I love was: I’m not allowed to feel this way. I was hating myself for feeling my own truth. Because it was interfering with, what I perceived, theirs.

What if, I allowed myself to feel this way? And loved myself for being truthful.
What if, I gave myself permission to love what matters to me.

Suddenly, the fist in my heart released its grip. A surge of “I matter” cursed through me. Tears flooded my cheeks. I’m not insignificant or broken. What I feel matters!

The question always exits: How will differences effect relationships? But exploring the options in an environment that is loving rather than judging feels hopeful.

First step is, love yourself. Second step is, share that love with another.

Practice Comfort

Doubts, about our future, tug at everyone’s nerves. But there is no room for self-doubt when so many of us need to create new avenues of income, and new avenues for connection.

Some of you may feel no purpose to guide you; some of you live with no human, animal or plant that affirms your value.

What were once low-grade self-doubts can become booming self-limiting judgments.

Self-doubt is where your resistance to self-care and personal comfort lie. Care and comfort, however, are day-to-day core conditions that maintain immune strength, emotional resilience and mental clarity.

Care and comfort are not luxuries, they are essentials, when facing the atmosphere that this viral pandemic has commanded––a sudden divorce from belonging in, and unexpected isolation from, the world.

Delight lifts you out of the self-doubt that interferes with self-care and comfort. But it’s very hard to be delighted by what you’re actively judging as limited.

So, we need to learn and practice self-acceptance to realize personal potential.

To delight in self-acceptance is to enjoy: yourself, your body, and your unique way of seeing life. This authentic experience of yourself is what makes you one of a kind and elevates you to realizing the Divine in you. This best-self experience keeps you inspired to develop and share your gifts in the world, even if it must be through a computer screen during these times.

So how do you recognize your best-self?

Start by identifying something you really like about yourself. Like for me, I really like that my hair turned white rather than gray. I can count on this being a feel-good statement about myself no matter what else is happening.

Practice staying in alignment with a feel-good statement of your own. Experience self-acceptance, rather than self-judgment, when thinking about your feel-good statement.

Once you can maintain this vibration of self-acceptance, you can respond mindfully, rather than react angrily when challenged, and be your best-self.

When triggered into self-doubt, rather than succumbing to your habitual tension template, think about that feel-good statement to flip your alignment back to self-acceptance. It may have nothing to do with what’s going on, but it snaps you out of engaging with the trigger’s self-damning attack. It snaps you back into being nice to yourself.

Self-acceptance starts at home with your habits, and in your body-mind awareness. Practice makes comfort!

 

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