Tag Archive for: defenses

NYC Bike Lane Mayhem

As I peddle to the curb to exit the bike lane, I get slammed by a battery operated bicycle. Out of nowhere and at the speed of a motor vehicle, he tries to pass between me and the curb.

I hear the bicycles metallic clank as they crash! The next thing I know, I’m climbing up from the ground, bewildered.
A woman asks if I’m OK?
I’m not even sure what happened, as I check myself for torn cloths or pain points.

The battery bicycle rider spoke little English, but could at least say, I’m sorry.

What strikes me, even more than the mayhem that plagues the NYC bike lanes with battery and motorized bikes making it another (but narrower) car lane, is my lapse of recall between the hit and my fall!

Shock interrupted my timeline.

This interruption has happened to me before in a motorcycle crash, when unexpectedly hit from behind; in sexual abuse, when unexpectedly woken in the night; and, when falling down a staircase, when the woman behind me unexpectedly slipped.

But other car, motorcycle or bicycle crashes, that I have seen coming, have not interrupted time?!

The unexpectedness, not the life threatening consequences, is what interrupted my experience creating a time warp. The unexpected, is what I couldn’t face, recall or feel, then or now.

The unexpected, the out-of-control, the unforeseeable, is what takes us out!

And, we’ve all experienced this phenomenon whether in or out of a shocking time warp. Being out-of-control takes us out of our mind’s comfort zone and we short circuit.

But, there’s more to this story than my mind’s timeline.

In every one of the incidents where time was interrupted, I didn’t get hurt. In fact, I was elevated in some way.

  • In the motorcycle crash, I was thrown past a parking space and bicycle lane to the sidewalk while in the time warp. Then, I returned to real time, when I landed on my feet like a super-hero with a few descellerait steps.
    • I was elevated by my confidence being ignited!
  • In the sexual abuse, I was woken by my perpetrator stroking himself coming toward me. Then, I disassociated into the time warp, into a different environment entirely, where I felt embraced by the Universe and safe. Then, I returned to real time to find my perpetrator lying beside me asleep.
    • I was elevated by experiencing the blueprint of mind body alignment, and being introduced to my future life purpose!
  • In the staircase fall, I felt my knees buckle when the woman behind me fell into me. The cascade down the stairs happened in the time warp. Then, real time returned with me buried under a bleeding woman 60-pounds heavier than I.
    • Uninjured, I was elevated by learning that I was resilient!

The time warp in every situation knocked out my defenses—my learned strategies—from their habitual patterns. I was unable to discern mentally the right action. Instead, my body’s intelligence took over with a perfect amount of surrender and strength to serve and protect me.

All this makes me wonder why we worry so much about what we cannot yet wrap our minds around? Would our lives be happier, and better served, if we could trust the body’s intelligence—the physical world’s involvement—to help guide us.

Could feeling out-of-control be an invitation to stay out-of-our-minds and into-our-bodies?

Next time I feel out-of-control, rather than continuing to muddle around in mental worry, I intend to consider, and act on, what my body is asking for in lieu of the situation. No time warp necessary!

If mind body alignment is intriguing to you, download my Free Mind Body Blueprint. You’ll discover the story your body’s tension is telling.

I’ve Mistaken Myself As My Book

Why a difference of opinion feels like conflict

My book’s purpose is to share tools that have helped me to take responsibility for the quality of my own life. It uses physical posture to relax emotional triggers so that the comfort of underlying truths are realized.

The effectiveness of these tools is unquestionable to me. But for someone else, these tools may be viewed as contrary to their existing beliefs.

At face value, opposition is a wonderful foundation for a growth provoking and intimate discussion!

Why then do I (and maybe you) hear opposition as criticism?

Criticism that touches on that which I hold sacred feels like having my sense of self uprooted. Not only is my work in question, but so is my personal integrity by association.

A difference of opinion doesn’t shake my belief in the work, it shakes my belief in myself. What morphs opinion into conflict is the internal criticism I interject toward myself that measures my value by how safe and content someone feels around me.

From this stance, any opposition feels like a personal failure rather than a comparison of experiences, information or understandings. (Not to mention it being a bit narcissistic!)

I’ve come to realize that sharing one’s wisdom challenges someone else’s. To push back is to consider, not deny, what’s being presented. (No matter what tone of voice they’re using.) They would simply disregard it otherwise.

Sharing deeply is an intimate exchange that asks us to be fully seen, and where we must allow our rightness to be in question.

I experience intimacy as a gentle probing into the mysteries of our inner guiding beliefs. As a verb it’s an act of vulnerability; as an adverb it’s a demonstration of strength. The art of strength is the grace of allowing strength to be vulnerable.

The tools shared in my book, The Art of Strength, have always questioned my emotion’s rightness. Now the book itself continues to do the same on an even greater scale.