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Second Chance at the Truth

Tammy on left; Bruno on right.

 

How do you keep internal peace under external pressure?

There are times that your mind analyzes a situation with clarity, yet you’re still triggered emotionally. You can feel trapped in your reaction and blind to a peaceful resolution.

Your mind and body are misaligned. The information your mind gathers and the story your body conveys seem to be on two different tracks, or different intensities of the same track.

The other night, sitting outside for dinner in the chill of winter (the only COVID option) I was met with this kind of mind body misalignment. My dinner date was sharing with me her newest business venture––herbal care. A healing art she had no education in.

I was stunned. My mind was clear that she was putting herself in liability danger and possibly endangering her customer’s well-being. As a 4-year herbal medicine graduate I tried to explain. The conversation was, to say the least, challenging for me.

Returning home with frozen feet and a chill that rose up my spine like a piercing icicle, I huddled in front of my space heater to thaw out. I was still reeling from the conversation and questioned my heightened emotions around the situation.

I felt mentally sound in my position, but emotionally triggered by my friend’s choice.

The next morning my head was nailed to the bed. There was a muscle spasm under my right shoulder blade that prevented me from lifting my head off the pillow! I felt like my body had been high-jacked by an incensed internal being. The aftermath of tension/stress overload!

So, I used a 3rd Eye Practice that allowed me to ask my body questions. It’s a practice that encourages my mind to take a backseat, while my body’s remembering can feel for the answer.

I place one finger lightly between my eyebrows. I let the sensation penetrate so deeply that the base of my skull widens back away from my neck, my eyes float upward and flutter under closed eyelids.

In this expanded position I asked my body, “what are you holding onto, what’s got you so triggered?”

After a quick filing of visuals, I settled on a childhood memory about my Saint Bernard Bruno. I thought, this can’t be the trigger! So, I asked again. And again, I landed on the Bruno story. So, I dug in and looked around to see what I could find.

At the age of 8 or so, I was letting Bruno out of his dog-pen to play in the yard. When exiting the pen his tail got caught in the gate’s hook lock. He pulled and all the fur and skin ripped off the end of his tail! As he wagged his tail blood was flying everywhere!

I screamed for my parents to come quick!

They came running and wrapped Bruno’s tail with paper and plastic. Then off to the vet we raced.

Bruno was fine. But I felt responsible for letting such a horrible thing happen. After all, I let him out of the pen. So, it must have been my fault that he got hurt in the doing. I decided, and formed a belief, that it’s very easy to hurt someone unintentionally.

BINGO! That “feeling state” was the very same “feeling state” I was having in regard to my friend practicing herbal medicine without a license. The guilt and protection my body held––my childhood trauma––was entangled in my clear-minded response to her.

It’s been a week of heating pads, epsom salt baths and resting on a foam roller, while feeling compassion for the little traumatized Tammy who loved her dog. I realized that I hadn’t unintentionally hurt my 4-legged friend, but rather, he’d had an accident. I wasn’t at fault.

In rewriting my old story’s belief, I’ve also soothed my emotional charge toward my friend. My mental position has not changed, but my emotional tolerance has. I can now extend out of my story into hers. And an ease, for her to be on her journey without judgment, has ensued.

I’ve gotten a second chance to align with my life and correct my skewed judgment of fault.

I can thank my friend for the opportunity to reframe this belief-forming story. As I look at it now, it’s been a constant undercurrent influencing my life. I have always looked at life through the lens of, “I could hurt someone!”

Self-aligned strength asks us to dig beneath the surface of our reactivity for a greater, more meaningful, self-aligned truth.

This Holiday Taught Me that Less is More

In these isolating times, we’re all asked as spiritual beings to have gratitude for our aloneness. Those alone for the holiday adjust to take delight in less or we’d crumble.

Creativity and kitchen traditions kept me on track as the holiday neared. But when the holiday countdown started, the absence of grounding human contact triggered my deepest wounds around belonging.

Shadows crept in. No holiday gatherings to distract my attention. Alone with my feelings, entrapped in long dark lonely nights, the winter solstice haunts my hopes with self-doubt.

I’m humored by Lao Tsu’s words:

“Less is More.”

In this moment it feels like he’s saying: less distractions lead to more unresolved emotions?
Great! *%!?^¥!
But I believe his sentiment was: do less and more will take care of itself.

My feelings and Lao Tzu’s sentiment were miles apart.

So, I did less.

Rather than distracting, convincing or devaluing my unpleasant feelings, I stop fighting them and let my haunting emotions express themselves. I allow hopelessness to surface. Experience the emotional upheaval and physical wail of disappointment to be amplified at the mic of my life.

O My God, I even broke down crying during a client session. In between tears I pleaded, “I just need some Christmas Magic!” Very unprofessional!

The beliefs that haunt me are given a voice. Beliefs that need my attention insist that they be witnessed. An under the surface posture that needs realigning feels like it’s resurrecting itself. Change is a choice that is starting to be visible on the horizon.

But really, did my haunting beliefs have to use my client’s time to amplify! I’m hired to amplify Relaxed Strength—yikes, my reputation is sunk!

Hopelessness was my over-riding emotion through five-days of tears. I might define this experience as believing in my deepest, most crippling, fears. But in an odd way, fully experiencing it felt like scratching an itch that had been there for as long as I could recall.

I don’t know how to feel differently in these days of decompression. Accumulated disappointments are unleashed and unharnessed. Yet, I continue to reflect on

“Less is More.”

I continue to non-do. Deliberately listening to my fears, and doing nothing to defend or embellish them. I just allow them to surface: words made me teary; silence or music made me cry out loud; flowers delivered made me wail.

Christmas Day was a Zooming whirlwind. Distractions filled with delight were the perfect respite. I’m bathed in gratitude.

The following morning I learn a client died Christmas Day. The outward spin of Christmas quickly returned to an inward reflection.

I wonder where the Christmas Magic really is?

A text came in from the client I cried uncontrollably with, “I just emailed you a special Christmas card!”

What followed was the Magic I pleaded for!

A video of loving sentiments from three generations, from three states, and the family dog, were edited together to give voice to their love for me. Not just what I do for them; but who I am and what I represent in the world as a being was seen, expressed and appreciated.

An ensemble of hope-filled messages challenge my haunting beliefs.

This wasn’t a card, this was Christmas Magic.

Magic that recalibrated my beliefs. Reminding me that I am lovable, I am relevant, and even in my times of need, I am respected.

I share this story to remind you to ride the turning tides of hope. Rest on rays of light, be they delightful distractions or gracious sentiment, as you let hopelessness teach you what your deepest fears are.

“Less is More.”

Stop fighting, relax and see your shadow clearly; feel it wholly. Without this clarity, creating the change you want to see in your life is like playing darts blindfolded.

Less should-be’s lead to More could-be’s!

I am grateful to be in a safe enough place to let my greatest fears surface, knowing that I have the support and tools to regain my sense of wellbeing. There are so many people who live in unsafe places, that have no freedom to dive deeper into their suffering, so they can learn to realign with and reclaim their own unique Magic.

I recognize how privileged I am to explore the shadow’s in my life. Privilege, however is, by no means, without struggle! But, I am delighted that my struggle is being lived out with the people I now surround myself with.

May we relax with Less to realize what More means.

Happy New Year ~ Tammy

Rottweiler with big stick

How My Rottweiler Taught Me To Submit

Rottweiler with big stick

An animal on its back with paws folded up by its shoulders disarms a fast track world. We stop to breath in its self immergé, wishing we too could open ourselves so freely.

I’d find my Rottweiler Hilda in this submission. On a hot summer day, in an empty cool bathtub, she’d delight in her self-soothing remedy. I’d find her with tongue hanging out the side of her mouth, giving me a look of complete nirvana.

Can you imagine, in the midst of my intrusion, such a vulnerable posture continuing to feel delightful?

Opening your physical body feels like opening your secret chest of hidden imperfections. And, if they were to be seen, would ensure the humiliation of being unloveable.

Hilda accepted who she was. Although she was nasty when protecting her bones; insistent about dragging the biggest stick home from the park; and, she could not share her toys! She never questioned the value of her character.

The same qualities that made her a lot to handle, made her my champion. She was a guard dog by nature. She protected me with the same commitment she had to her bone and toys. And, dragging a big stick felt good to her teeth and gums. And maybe her ego too?

My point is. She didn’t judge her nature. She accepted it and fully engaged with it. And so can we, to our nature.

Self-awareness is at the root of your potential. But if becoming aware of yourself causes you to want to change yourself you have skipped the most important step. Delighting in yourself.

Delight in who you are. The parts that you define as good and not so good. Every perceived bad habit, shortcoming and defect has a yin and a yang.

Never forget, you are a part of the natural world, created out of star dust and Goodness. Believing that Creation has an intelligence beyond your own offers you room to explore your self-doubt.

Creating positive change is about surrendering your body’s tension and mind’s judgment to align with who you are, not change who you are. Look beneath judgment. Align with what was created in you.

 

Please comment with your experience around surrendering tension.

Tales about the Relaxed Strength Challenge!

WATCH THIS VIDEO!

 

This is a 5-week challenge that kicks off Oct. 19th!

The Relaxed Strength Challenge:

    • Daily Mind-Body Strength WorkOUTS that use Dynabands for resistance;
    • One-Minute WorkINS that keep you in your body between workouts;
    • And, Body Journeys that realign you in your body for lasting posture shifts.

In addition, you’ll get: 

  • Weekly Group Coaching Calls, to personalize your Relaxed Strength action plan and ask questions about your concerns or challenges.
  • Private FaceBook Community to ask questions and post video questions between Coaching Calls.
  • Six Months FREE Membership to BodyLogos App.
  • Two FREE Dynabands to support your Challenge!
  • Ten Free Active Meditations for Everyday Living to customize a self-aligned and meditative lifestyle.
  • Surrender Tension in 8-Minutes Video, to relax––down to the bone!
  • Neutral Alignment Video, to experience your strength––on purpose!

SIGN UP NOW!! Comment below with Relaxed Strength! 

Then I’ll send you the details to schedule a FREE 1:1 call with me to see if this is a Right-For-You Program.

Doubt Your Tension

Hello Shape-Shifters,

I’ve also been asked these questions:

What’s included in the Relaxed Strength Challenge?
You’ll get: Daily Mind-Body Strength WorkOUTS that use Dynabands for resistance, One-Minute WorkINS that keep you in your body between workouts, and Body Journeys that realign you in your body for lasting posture shifts.
In addition, you’ll get: weekly group Coaching Calls, A Facebook Community for support between Coaching Calls, Active Meditations for everyday living, videos and Dynabands for your keeping. And a FREE 6-month BodyLogos App Membership!

When does it start?
On Monday October 19th, 20 Members of the BodyLogos App will kick off their Shape Shifting journey with the Relaxed Strength Challenge, working closely with me for 5-weeks to transform their misaligned tension into aligned strength.

What equipment do I need? 
Body weight and Dynabands, which I will supply for you.

How much time do I need? 
30-45 minutes a day broken into 3-settings––20-30 minute Mind-Body Strength WorkOUTS; 3-minute mid-day WorkINS; 7-10 minute Body Journey.

If you’re ready to schedule a 1:1 call with me to see if this is a Right-For-You Program, grab your space by replying to this email with… Relaxed Strength!

Then I’ll message you back the scheduling details.
You’ve only got 48hrs before application submission closes!

Reply to this email to reserve your space.

Embody Success ~ Tammy

Relaxed Strength Challenge

WATCH VIDEO!

Hello Shape-Shifter,

APPLY NOW:  Relaxed Strength Challenge 

The Challenge follows the BodyLogos Method. BodyLogos applies Tao principles to resistance training and is the how-to for living relaxed and strong. You’ll gain a comprehensive awareness of how energy optimally flows through the body and how tension obscures that flow.  BodyLogos practice offers an understanding of your unique blocks to living the power of your intention and a method to create positive change.

In addition to WorkOUTS, WorkINS, and Body Journeys you’ll get:
Weekly Mind Focus’ that ground everything your body’s learning in Tao philosophy and fitness physiology.
Weekly Group Coaching Calls to personalize your Relaxed Strength action plan.
Private FaceBook Community to ask questions and post video questions between Coaching Calls.
Six Months FREE Access to the BodyLogos App. 
Two FREE Dynabands to support your Challenge!
10 FREE Active Meditations for Everyday Living, to help customize a self-aligned lifestyle.
Surrender Tension in 8-Minutes Video to relax––down to the bone!
Neutral Alignment Video to experience strength as ease––on purpose!

The Relaxed Strength Challenge helps you take effective steps toward aligning your body’s strength with your mind’s ambition, so you stop chasing and can enjoy peace under pressure!

Schedule a 1:1 call with me to see if this is a Right-For-You Program.
Respond to this email with Relaxed Strength and I will personally send you the details to apply.

 “Tammy’s bright positivity and uplifting posts help me stretch as if I were opening the blinds of my body so that I may let the light inside out.”
John Bidwell – Kessler Rehabilitation Center

 

The Discipline of Delight

                        Watch Video!

Hello Shape-Shifter,

Strength is compromised when you’re bound in tension, uncertainty, and overwhelm.

You may ask yourself:
• How do I stop the chase and stay in the game?!
• Am I doing too much or doing too little?
• Is there some relaxation/strength training ratio to follow to live in the sweet spot?
• Is it possible to be relaxed and strong at the same time???

If any, or all, of the above questions run through your head… I can help.

I’ve helped 1,000’s of people in my 40-years in the fitness industry.

As a Broadway dancer turned Tao Minister, my mind-body strength method––BodyLogos––that unites principles from Eastern and Western philosophies, creates a bridge between fitness and wellness.  BodyLogos guides people to release pent-up chronic tension WHILE strength-training. They learn to recognize their strength and influence, so they experience “relaxed strength.”

• Time Out New York voted me and BodyLogos “Best of Fitness” twice!
• Dance Spirit Magazine called BodyLogos, “a zen workout;”
• Shape Magazine described it as, “body sculpting that uses weights to enlighten you;”
• NY Magazine named it, “Mindful Fitness.”

After publishing my book, “The Art of Strength: Sculpt the Body ~ Train the Mind,” I wanted to create something that could implement that foundation into a guided practice, and reach people everywhere.

So here I am building a BodyLogos Fitness App that kick-starts you with the Relaxed Strength Challenge––a step by step plan that shape shifts you from ‘worn out chaser’ to ‘relaxed strength’ in 5-weeks.

Watch for tomorrow’s email with all the details on how to apply for the Relaxed Strength Challenge!

PASS THIS MESSAGE ALONG to FIVE friends who you think want to SHAPE SHIFT too! And we’ll learn the discipline of delight all together!

Embody Success ~ Tammy

 

Shape Shift Your Life!

Coming Soon… The Relaxed Strength Challenge!

A Personal Experience:

“Exercise… The first sign of struggle and I was done.
 
Stress about the world, the country, my work, was overwhelming me and I needed to do something to help myself. My health was suffering and I was having a now or never kind of feeling… I was feeling trapped and had to focus on me, on my health.
 
The BodyLogos Relaxed Strength program were not “exercises” to struggle through, they were ways to connect to yourself and to help your body… There’s no competition; there’s no pushing to do better. It’s a ‘connect to your body’ where you are now and a semi-meditation at the same time. It’s about  how the muscles work, what their function is in a purely physical way; and in “spiritual/emotional” terms, how they help you move through life. I found the talking that Tammy did engaged my brain just enough to distract it from the fact I was “exercising” and gave me something to think about then and later.”

Sherri Kendricks ~ Reference Librarian

Computerized Heads

Delight Steers Strength

Computerized  Heads

A Lesson from On-Line Dating

After hearing on the news that we’d likely be living this Corona-lifestyle for another year. I joined a dating site!

This was a change of heart. It happened after years of nudging friends urged me to try internet dating. And I saying, “No way! I’m not proving my desirability with my resume’. I’m a being, not a doing!

But we’ve all had to pivot in many ways to survive this pandemic. How I meet a fella suddenly felt less important than meeting a fella.

An interesting man and I started messaging back and forth. Every time he’d message me, I’d linger 3-4 days before responding. Because the delight I felt, that someone saw me and liked me, kept growing for that many consecutive days. It was delightful. I didn’t want to interrupt the stretch inside me by responding immediately.

Apparently, a little attention goes a long way, when you’ve been living alone for 6-months in a pandemic–– single! Finally, when the delight leveled off, I’d message him back.

Within a half-day he’d retort. And the same rhythm continued. I’d respond in 3-4 days and he’d respond within a day.

Our banter was enjoyable, for about three or four exchanges. Then I was like, is he gonna ask me out or what? I had no interest to meander along fantasizing about a man I’d never really met. We live in the same city after all.

Believing that a strong man asks a woman out, and I want a strong man, I waited.

But when the ask didn’t come as soon as I wanted it, the delight turned to disappointment. My belief interpreted his reserve as weak.

I suddenly realized, I was misguided.

I wasn’t being me. I wasn’t serving my rhythm when I didn’t, wouldn’t or couldn’t ask him out. I was instead, doing me. I was doing what I had done for years with in-person dating. I was doing my resume’ while running interference with dating.

Shocked that I was hiding behind a belief that kept me powerless to choose what I wanted. I realized I was protecting myself from choosing wrong. A belief that kept me safe and free, but unfulfilled.

I wanted to follow the inner stretch of being delighted.

In my next message, as if my body’s need to get real led my fingers, I gave him my phone number. I could feel my mind hesitating, holding fast to safety, but I carried on and pushed SEND.

In his typical style, in half an hour he called. He asked me out to a museum that afternoon!

What is strength to you?

Does strength have a look or feeling or rule? How do you measure strength beyond the weight of a barbell? Is strength vulnerable or stoic?

In this story, I don’t believe strength lies in who called who or who asked who out. Finally listening for what brought me delight and acting on it, was where strength lied.

Strength was had by living what was feeding my delight. And the level of delight measured my honesty with myself.

Where is your doing misaligned with your being? When or where do you lose the feeling of delight? What beliefs need review to reclaim your delight?

To my surprise, on-line dating opened my eyes to something that in-person dating hadn’t been able to do. Maybe on-line working and socializing has more depth than we realize at first glance?

Please comment below about your view on STRENGTH.

DancerInWhite

Jeffrey Epstein Cohorts

DancerInWhite

How Sex, Dad and Dance Woke Me Up!

There have been many reports regarding sexual misconduct, sexual abuse, sex trafficking and pedophilia. Little commentary from these report’s share the actual experience beyond the victim/perpetrator dynamic.

Jeffrey Epstein’s story is no exception. Even with the stream of young women who bravely confirmed his disgraceful schemes, the high drama was created by the who’s, the how’s, and the outcomes.

An experience is felt. It may be felt all at once or as awakening layers of deadened sensation. An experience exposes feelings not scandalous facts.

My story is an account of my experience, not the facts that could accuse and convict a perpetrator. My perpetrator is dead and I seek no revenge. What I offer in this story is faith building…

Asleep only a few hours, I am awoken night after night by my dad. Hearing him enter my private space curled me up into a ball of tension. My eyes wide open under closed eyelids. Even the first time, at the age of ten, I knew nothing good was going to follow.

Then suddenly, I am plucked out of the terror, from what felt like a hand from the heavens, taking me to a place that I can only describe as nirvana––a place where the soul is free from worldly possessions (including my physical body)––a place where I felt safe, relaxed and strong.

This is referred to as a disassociated state in psychology, where the person experiences a detachment from reality, different from a loss of reality as in psychosis. My experience of this state was not one of mental scrutiny; rather, it was a spiritual awakening.

When in this surreal state I felt plugged into both earth and sky. A relationship with my energy body, separate from my physical body, was woken. My central plumb line––the body’s innermost relationship with gravity––was plugged into a relaxed stretch that carried a current of pure life force. I was infused with a spiritual strength that cursed through my energy centers.

I felt like the channel connecting earth and sky. I felt important. I felt like an integral part of the whole of Creation.

Then suddenly, I would be snapped back into my physical body. Usually dad would be gone by then. Sometime not.

My life was like a Ping Pong game. For the 3-years dad visited my room at night to satisfy his sexual need. Back and forth I would bounce, between feeling the relevance of unifying earth and sky, to feeling unworthy of the most basic parental protection.

I had no control over these disassociated experiences. Just as I had no control over what was happening in my reality. But what I gained from these experiences was twofold:

• I have clear reference points for tension and strength.
• And I can distinguish between energy movement and physical movement.

At this time in my life I started dance classes. I wanted the physical mastery to maintain the energy alignment I experienced in my surreal life in my real life. I knew undoubtedly that spirit lived through me, and the way to connect with it was through my central plumb line––my posture.

I learned to transform the static energy of tension into the fluid energy of strength. I found the quiet balance of energy movement inside the demands of physical challenge, and understood the inner grace of poised posture.

Through years of practice, the tension of my curled up body learned to elongate into a channel of life force. Gaining the mastery, embodied in my surreal life into my real life, landed me in the Broadway cast of A Chorus Line at the age of nineteen!

Posture matters. It has the capacity to break through tensions grip and transform misaligning beliefs. It rescued me from the potential downward spiral of my childhood trauma.
Your plumb line connects the essence of you with gravities force and you plug into a universal belonging that is safe, relaxed and fiercely strong.

Strength is experienced as ease-full, not tough, rough and rugged.

It has become clear to me that many of the ways we are taught to strive, prepare and compete for the lives we want are tension building rather than strength enhancing. And by relating to an end goal, in leu of being on the journey, keeps us detached from our energy body––Spirit–– and exhausts our physical body.

What I have concluded from my experience is, the aligning energy that connects our energy body (or Spirit Self) to our physical body is the energy we each borrow from the greater whole. It took trauma for me to experience the gift of spiritual belonging. Showing me that there is a sacred thread that runs through all our life experiences.

Listen inwardly and trust what feels safe, relaxed and strong.

 

To learn to access the relaxed strength found in your posture check out: The Art of Strength: Sculpt the Body ~ Train the Mind, a Book-3D/Video Learning System that helps you feel relaxed on the inside and strong on the outside.