Mason & me with Grammy’s knitting!

As I took my first steps into the winter freeze, my braced body surrendered into a sense of unexpected safety. I was warm!

Out my window, heads were buried as they bustled by. NYC had a white dusting that looked like frost. A mixture of snow, salt and sand made every color fade into dusty white hues. The Hudson carried giant blocks of ice that groaned as they traversed.

With temperatures dropped into record breaking lows, wind chills that felt like razor blades on faces, the warmest clothes were unburied: a floor length shearling coat, fur aviator hat, lined knitted mittens, a thick-knit pocket scarf and heavy-knit socks.

As much as I always try to avoid the emotional angst of being cold, just the thought of it triggers my survival instincts into overdrive.

Truth is, feeling safe in the cold has never happened to me before. I actually have an odd fear of cold weather. It’s as if I have to fight for my life! So, when I felt warm and safe in the cold, I was disarmed.

At that moment, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude.

My shearling coat was gifted from a client’s closet. The fur hat was gifted from a friend. Mittens, scarf and socks were all homemade by my mom.

It was the generosity of others that protected me from the extreme weather that was beating up others.

As the youngest in my family, I grew up wearing hand-me-downs. As a dancer/personal trainer, who fits into my friend’s outgrown clothes, I still wear hand-me-downs. I’m a 62-year old hand-me-down queen!

In the past, I’ve appreciated receiving unwanted treasures and enjoyed making them my own. But, gratitude felt like appreciation on steroids!

Gratitude felt warm inside and out.
• Gratitude required me to fully receive what was given… to accept the gesture as them wanting me to have it, rather than them not wanting it.
• Gratitude made me feel worthy of these gifted items, rather than less than because I didn’t or couldn’t get it brand new.
• Gratitude blessed me with abundance byway of my appreciation for YOU—the care giver, as well as, ME—the cared for.

I learned that, appreciation reflects my feelings for the giver; and, gratitude reflects my capacity to receive.

It’s been said that, it’s better to give than to receive. I disagree, it’s a full circle of gifting/celebrating/ honouring. To fully receive is what the giver intended. It’s what makes the giving worth while and honours the love being exchanged.

While saving money initiated my childhood recycled closet, and environmental concerns initiates my adult recycled closet, hand-me-downs are a form of cycling the energy of love anew.