The Heart is Always Searching for Love.

Anthony Maulella clay art

Why can it feel like a heart-punch when someone doesn’t express gratitude, care or affection when you’ve demonstrated yours to them?

In theory, it’s been said, the need to hear others express their love spikes, when our belief in being loved or lovable dips. Reassurance feels like the only way to soothe the body’s ache and the mind’s worry. So, we seek it out.

If you’re anything like me, you hate feeling needy. Especially when asking for love.

Like it or not, this search for reassurance creeps into my world when I feel taken advantage of by my mom or unwanted by my man. When I don’t get the reassurance I need from them, I feel heart-punched.

It’s like a One-Two-Punch! First, I don’t feel loved by them. Then, I don’t feel lovable by my own deduction. A punching match with myself that’s un-winnable!

Matters of the heart are a layered cacophony. A mind-body maze.

There’s the real-time dynamic that flood’s your senses, triggering physical urgency for requited love; followed by trampled expectations that flood your mind, questioning how to think when that urgency is unrequited.

This mind body energy-surge bombards our hearts and we feel an eruption of emotions. An eruption that directs the heart to be IN love or OUT of love.

• IN love means to choose love. To love yourself and invite others in.
  • Feel generous, even when mom doesn’t see it.
  • Enjoy wanting, even when my man doesn’t feel it.
• OUT of love means to witness love. To invite others to love you while you don’t.
  • Feel generous only if mom sees it.
  • Enjoy wanting only if my man feels it.

To soothe a heart-punch, I’m learning to keep the whole situation in tact. Not just focus on the rejection or slight, that offers proof that I’m unlovable. But also, stay connected to the generous, uniting spirit that I offer to the world, that demonstrates my lovability.

When I love what someone else isn’t seeing or feeling in me or with me, I don’t have to feel unloved. I can simply feel alone in love… rather than, lonely in life.

For the mind and body to have a balanced inquiry about love, stay true to what you feel, unabashedly so. Feel what’s true for you, no matter what someone else is doing. Just because someone else isn’t responding to your love, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your love.

Love to love. No matter what.

The heart is always searching for love. But remember, you already have it within you. Dare to choose it, even when someone else doesn’t.

If this speaks to you, please comment.