BodyLogos Blog

The Heart is Always Searching for Love.

Anthony Maulella clay art

Why can it feel like a heart-punch when someone doesn’t express gratitude, care or affection when you’ve demonstrated yours to them?

In theory, it’s been said, the need to hear others express their love spikes, when our belief in being loved or lovable dips. Reassurance feels like the only way to soothe the body’s ache and the mind’s worry. So, we seek it out.

If you’re anything like me, you hate feeling needy. Especially when asking for love.

Like it or not, this search for reassurance creeps into my world when I feel taken advantage of by my mom or unwanted by my man. When I don’t get the reassurance I need from them, I feel heart-punched.

It’s like a One-Two-Punch! First, I don’t feel loved by them. Then, I don’t feel lovable by my own deduction. A punching match with myself that’s un-winnable!

Matters of the heart are a layered cacophony. A mind-body maze.

There’s the real-time dynamic that flood’s your senses, triggering physical urgency for requited love; followed by trampled expectations that flood your mind, questioning how to think when that urgency is unrequited.

This mind body energy-surge bombards our hearts and we feel an eruption of emotions. An eruption that directs the heart to be IN love or OUT of love.

  • IN love means to choose love. To love yourself and invite others in.
    • Feel generous, even when mom doesn’t see it.
    • Enjoy wanting, even when my man doesn’t feel it.
  • OUT of love means to witness love. To invite others to love you while you don’t.
    • Feel generous only if mom sees it.
    • Enjoy wanting only if my man feels it.

To soothe a heart-punch, I’m learning to keep the whole situation in tact. Not just focus on the rejection or slight, that offers proof that I’m unlovable. But also, stay connected to the generous, uniting spirit that I offer to the world, that demonstrates my lovability.

When I love what someone else isn’t seeing or feeling in me or with me, I don’t have to feel unloved. I can simply feel alone in love… rather than, lonely in life.

For the mind and body to have a balanced inquiry about love, stay true to what you feel, unabashedly so. Feel what’s true for you, no matter what someone else is doing. Just because someone else isn’t responding to your love, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your love.

Love to love. No matter what.

The heart is always searching for love. But remember, you already have it within you. Dare to choose it, even when someone else doesn’t.

If this speaks to you, please comment.

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Welcome to the BodyLogos blog. Here’s where you’ll get your dose of alignment and balance with grace. (Sign up here to join 1,000 other blog subscribers.)

Redefining Strength

I want to change our perception of strength. Strength is the ability to meet resistance and influence an outcome without compromising ourselves. And we already have it.

Strength is not an attribute; it’s a state of being. Gladiators, bodybuilders, and football players demonstrate strength through brute force, sheer willpower, muscle mass, and relentless pursuit. But we’re also quick to identify dancers and martial artists as strong. Their medium taps into a sense of vulnerability, balance, alignment, controlled power, and grace—but no one can deny their strength. Strength may look different on each of us, but it is an inherent part of who we are.

You are not weak by nature; you are stronger than you think. Your strength is not something you need to kill yourself to gain—it is already within you, waiting to be excavated. The key is to stop chasing something you already have and tap into it, so you can manifest that strength in your everyday life.

Because we don’t think we’re strong, we approach resistance with the idea that we’re not enough. We throw everything we have at it and push past our physical, mental, and emotional limitations. We see strength as domination, but it’s not.

When you learn to listen to your body’s divine wisdom, you cultivate a sense of where your body is developing tension instead of standing in its strength. You end the vicious cycle of unrealistic expectations, injury, and self-criticism and learn how to consciously embrace responsible growth. You stop compartmentalizing your strength into emotional, physical, and mental pieces and operate from the strength of your being at all times.

You learn how to align yourself with gravity—instead of working against it—so you can channel your strength to meet life’s resistance. As you meet resistance with equal parts power and alignment, you transform tension into strength

As in the sword dance above, the power lies in bringing just the right amount of force—not too little and not too much. By meeting the sword’s weight, I meet gravity. I am tapped into a larger source of energy, free of tension, and discover a strength that is wholly and uniquely mine.

About Tammy Wise

Tammy Wise is a widely respected mind-body fitness expert based out of New York City, owner of BodyLogos, Inc. author of The Art of Strength: Sculpt the Body ~ Train the Mind. A former Broadway dancer turned Tao minister, Tammy was voted the Best of Fitness by Time Out New York and has appeared in Martha Stewart’s Whole Living magazine, New York Magazine, Natural Health, Shape, and Thrive Global. She’s a Transformational Authors Contest Winner and regular contributor to Honeysuckle magazine and Medium. Visit her at bodylogos.com.

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