Do You Manage or Resolve Your Pain?

We all cringe when assaulted with hurtful words.

Angry daggers spew from desperate mouths in an effort to pacify their underlying fears. These sharp daggers puncture holes in relationships; and, they bury the respect and care that once created unity.

A silent scream contracts my neck as I sleep. I wake up to the physical pain of emotional struggle brought on by those daggers, my own and of those closest to my recently buried sister.

They accuse me of making their life harder than it already is. A series of insults are screamed at me, followed by a phone receiver’s click. None of their angry rants express a rational violation, so I’m left bewildered.

Another interaction isn’t an interaction at all. I’m dismissed and ignored. My bewilderment turns to belittle-ment.

Then in their final act, I’m told that they’re sorry for the last text or call, and that they still love me, BUT…. and again and again, the cycle goes round.

While I understand they’re in pain. I don’t understand the BUT!
BUT WHAT? What have I done?

Perhaps this is where I get off track. Am I asking the wrong question?
Perhaps the right question is: What have they done?

They claim to love; yet, their accusations are far-fetched assumptions mixed with complete untruths. The story being told is false and the love they profess is feeble.

What I know is: until we own our stories, our stories own us.
What I’ve learned here is: until I own my story AND love myself, my story is written by others.

To resolve the fight rather than manage the pain, in my neck and my heart, I have to surrender my defenses. I have to fully appreciate all that I AM and fall in love. Accept myself. Show up for myself. Love myself unconditionally. And stand relaxed and strong in ownership of who and what I am.

Only then can I live in peace, no matter the circumstances.
And, align in my power, to change my circumstances.
And live in love.

I am not to blame for my sister’s death, nor do I need to defend my love for her.

Defending oneself or blaming others protects the dagger throwing beast that perpetuates pain. A beast that would rather be angry at life, than vulnerable in it. A beast that will sacrifice everything to be right.

Instead, can we surrender into the underlying fear, sadness and hurt. Empathize with what’s under our rage and learn to love.

May we have the courage to meet the beast within our own stories and tame it.

Neck Pain & Overwhelm


Neck Pain and Overwhelm!

You are NOT your body’s pain, but it can sure feel like it when pain strikes!

Neck pain is often a precursor to other physical pain because it forms the narrow intersection between mind and body. As your mind gets busier, stimuli through this narrow intersection gets flooded.

Headaches, moodiness, shoulder and back pain follow, and ultimately upset your job performance AND upend personal pleasures.

Your ambitious; you don’t want to slow down!

But you often have no choice. Your neck pain reverberates through your whole being. You’re overwhelmed!

WHAT you’re doing doesn’t need to change as much as HOW you’re doing it. Discover the power of your breath.

Breathe space back into your neck… between your bones, muscles AND thoughts. Breathe yourself into alignment.

I’m Tammy Wise, a mind body strength expert. I’ve helped 100’s of ambitious professionals and artists find Relaxed Strength, using alignment, breath, meditation and strength training.

I’m not talking about individual disciplines, but ONE discipline that unifies physical, emotional and mental mastery. ONE discipline that aligns mind, body and Spirit!

Time Out New York voted me Best of Fitness TWICE, because New Yorkers don’t have time for pain. And neither do you!

You have agency over your pain!

I invite you to book a 1:1 FREE consultation with me to explore the overwhelm that may be causing your neck pain. And, we’ll discuss whether you’d be served by my upcoming on-line program: The Art of Strength Deep Dive.

This single session will offer you insights about how your physical and emotional posture could be leeching strength and comfort from your neck health, whether we decide the program is right-for-you or not.

And, you’ll walk away with one action toward a pain free tomorrow.

Please take 4-minutes to answer some questions that will help me understand your fitness/wellness concerns, then choose a convenient time on the calendar.

Application deadline is April 22nd so book your call now!

I look forward to chatting with you soon!

Bye for now.

Grieving to Healing

Fire burns the darkness away.

It’s the morning after my sister’s funeral and I’m relieved I took the day off.

Exhaustion plagues my body and I’m keenly aware of a black hole in my gut. It’s a deep chasm of sadness and heartache. To be expected, I thought. This must be what grieving feels like.

Days passed. Everyday I had to crawl myself out of this chasm of darkness and find my light again and again. It was exhausting. It was getting scary.

But, I also felt aligned and beautifully connected with my sister spiritually. In some ways I felt closer to her than ever before!

I began to wonder if this internal darkness was something other than grieving?

The two-months leading up to her COVID death I was the easy one to hate by her husband and youngest son. I was vaccinated, and they and my sister were not. It created separation. I was attacked with mean words, hung up on, and completely disregarded.

Maybe the black hole was a pocket of hate that I absorbed?

I knew it was possible from my experience with Inca medicine. So, I returned to the native way of healing… FIRE!

With a Shaman’s support, I spent 3-days burning hate away, theirs and mine.

Each day I made an urban fire and surrounded it with five tea candles. Each one representing a different direction. I’d burn a stick, wrapped with the hate, and explore all the ways I had created separation. Both personally and worldly.

Fears and injustices, pain and trauma, ignorance and indifference were all covered. With each story of despair I spoke the words: “I forgive me and I forgive you, because I love me and I love you.”

It would take 6-hours for the fire and candles to burn out each day. And each day I experienced a different kind of exhaustion, coupled with emotional tears and physical pain. But the black hole is now gone!

What is left is a constant and everlasting love between sister’s.

The onus is on each one of us to live in our own light. No matter what happens around us, we decide to be happy or despairing.

There are so many ways to support personal alignment. There will be times when your daily disciplines fall short and additional support is needed. I share this story to share a way that helped me pass through a dark and lonely choice I was making.

When I made a new choice to stand in my light, to shed the darkness that I perpetuated, the hole inside of me filled with love. The love my sister and I share.

Decide to be happy, no matter what!

Urban Fire Recipe: metal bowl, epsom salts, ethyl alcohol and a match.
Shaman Contact: /